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Lunes, Abril 30, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 22... Vengeance)



Intsik from Riyadh... thanks for the message from KSA again.

John... it's nice to have you back.
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3:00 AM

Di ako makatulog buong gabi sa kakaisip.  Ano'ng oras na rin umuwi si Kuya Paolo pero nauna pa siyang makatulog sa akin.  Ikot ako ng ikot sa sala sa kakaisip kung ano ang gagawin ko.

Umupo ako kanina sa inupuan ko.  Inaalala ko lahat ng sinabi at ginawa nila.  Tapos inaalala ko lahat ng pagkakasabi nila.

Saka lang parang tumama sa akin ang isang napakamagandang bagay. Nanlaki ang mata ko.  Ngumiti ako.  Mabilis akong tumakbo paakyat ng kuwarto. Ginising ko si Kuya Paolo.

Sabado, Abril 28, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 21... The End with Luke and the Start of Something Bad)



Luke's look-alike... Hayy... hayyy... hayyyy...

One of the 10 more chapters left of My Paolo Series
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Pinahiga ako ni Luke at hinalikan.  Matagal na matagal akong hinalikan.  Kahit na halatang di siya sanay ay pinilit niyang patagalin iyon.  Ang mga kamay ko naman ay hinahaplos ang likod nito.

Nang medyo nangalay na ako sa di magandang paghalik nito ay tinulak ko siya para humiga at ako ang pumaibabaw sa kanya.  Inilipat ko sa pisngi niya ang halik ko papunta sa tenga nito.

Biyernes, Abril 27, 2012

Letters... (Story 1.. Mike)

Guys,
One of my followers emailed me this letter at angelic.thoughts.1986@gmail.com.  He is asking for my help on his problem and I hope you will also help me help him by commenting below.
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Dear Idol Dark Angel,
Hi, Musta?
I am one of your avid readers and a follower of your blog, I do not show as one of your followers dahil wala naman akong blog account.  Pero I can definitely say na I am a very big fan and follower.  I check you blog almost 5 times a day for updates at sa mga times na walang updates, binabasa ko ulit ang blog mo from the first post.  Di kasi nakakasawang basahin e.

Huwebes, Abril 26, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 20... Luke...)


Luke's look-alike... Hayy... hayyy... hayyyy... Why do memories need to return... hay... Nakakainis
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Hinila ko ang kamay ko.

"Gago ka ba Luke?" galit na galit kong tanong sa kanya.

Natigagal siya dahil galit na ako.

Miyerkules, Abril 25, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 19... In Your Arms)



Hay... nakakastress ang mga susunod na pangyayari... hay...
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Kinabukasan ay kinausap ni Mama Tony si Kuya Paolo tungkol nga sa sinabi ni Catalina na hindi na daw siya pumapasok.

"Sorry po Ma, di ko nasabi sa inyo agad.  Nabalaan na po ako ng kasama ko sa office na buntis si Cat e kaya di na po ako pumasok ng ilang araw na." nahihiyang sabi ni Kuya Paolo.

"Kung sana lang kasi sinabi mo sa akin ng maaga para di kami nabigla.  Ano na lang kung ako lang andito kagabi at wala si Angelo e di inatake na ako." mahinahon pa ring sabi ni Mama Tony.

Di sumagot si Kuya Paolo.

"Ano'ng balak mo ngayon? Papanagutan mo ba iyong ginawa mo kay Cat?" sunod na tanong ni Mama Tony.

Tumingin sa kanya si Kuya Paolo.  Tapos tumingin sa akin.

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 18... Catalina Face-off)


Excited to watch Avengers in 3D later with my boyfriend and my officemates.
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Mga dalawang linggo pa ang nakalilipas na walang masyadong nangyari sa amin ni Kuya Paolo. Ganun lang palagi, hatid-sundo niya ako sa mall.

Si Luke naman ay napansin na palagi akong nakatanga.  Di daw ako kasing-hyper ng dati.  Ang totoo ay iniiwasan ko na magkahawakan kami kahit siko man lang dahil naaligaga ako.

Araw-araw ay naging mas maayos pa ang porma nito at kahit halata naman na umiiwas ako ay ganun pa rin ang pangungulit nito sa akin.

Martes, Abril 24, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 17... Luke Reinvented)



To all who asked why I haven't posted Luke's look-alike picture... here it is again.
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Kinabukasan ganun uli.  Medyo kabado pa rin ako pero inayos ko ang sarili ko.  Hinatid ako ni Kuya Paolo sa mall saka siya dumiretso sa hotel nila.

Pagkapasok ko sa klase ay hinanap ko kaagad si Luke dahil nga paiba-iba kami ng upuan depende sa mauuna.

Wala pa si Luke, kunsabagay, masyado pa akong maaga.  Umupo na lang ako sa puwesto namin kahapon.  Hinintay ko ang kaibigan ko.

Maya pa ay may nakita akong pumasok sa klase namin, guwapo pero parang kilala ko. Tinitigan ko ito dahil sobrang cute.  Nagulat ako nang ngumiti ito sa akin.  Nanlaki ang mata ko.

Lunes, Abril 23, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 16... Why Am I Scared)



To all who asked why I haven't posted Luke's look-alike... here it is.
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"Iyon ba iyon?" tanong ka Kuya Paolo pagkapasok sa kuwarto.

"Ang ano?" takang tanong ni Kuya Paolo.

"Si Catalina... siya ba yung babae mo?" medyo masakit sa loob kong itanong.

Sabado, Abril 21, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 15... Exploring Bacolod)


Tino from Singapore and Intsik from KSA... thank you for sending me those messages even if you're not in the Philippines now. It really means a lot to me that you spend time and money just to let me know how you like my blog. God bless you and keep you safe.

JC, Kevin, Neil and Reid... thanks sa pagtetext ----------------------------------------

Una naming pinuntahan ni Kuya Paolo ang sikat na Lagoon ng Bacolod sa may Lacson St. sa harap ng. Provincial Capitol ng Negros Occidental. Ginawa niya akong bata na pinagpaglaro sa mga swing at slide. Nilaro din namin ang mga isda sa lagoon.

Pagkatapos noon ay sumakay kami ng jeep papunta sa simbahan sa harap ng Plaza ng Bacolod. Nakalimutan ko na ang pangalan ng simbahan basta pagkaalala ko meron doong itim na estatwa ni Mama Mary.

Naglakad-lakad din kami sa Plaza doon.

Biyernes, Abril 20, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 14... Honeymoon)


Kahit m asama ang loob ko dahil sa pagkakatanggal kay Colton Dixon sa American Idol, I have to post para mailabas ko ang sama ng loob ko.

Sa wakas nahanap ko rin ang mukha ni Luke. Pero siyempre sa next chapter na yun... Bleh.
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Maaga pa lang ay ginising na ako ni Kuya Paolo.  Sabay daw kaming maligo dahil maaga daw kaming aalis.  Di niya sinabi kung saan kami pupunta.

Siyempre habang nasa bathtub ay ginawa namin uli ang palagi naming ginagawa. Sex na naman.

Huwebes, Abril 19, 2012

Thoughts for April 20, 2012 (Colton Dixon)





I just want to share my sentiments today.  It's like the world suddenly became dark.


If you have been watching American Idol, you would then know COLTON DIXON, my ever-beloved Colton.  However, a few hours ago, Colton has been eliminated from American Idol.


Miyerkules, Abril 18, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 13... Sleeping with a Broken Heart)




Another Chapter as requested by Philip.

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Maganda ang kinalabasan ng ginawa namin ni Luke.  Tuwang-tuwa naman si Sir Bryan at naging maayos na ang turingan namin ni Luke.

Nang uwian na ay magkasabay kaming namasyal pa ni Luke.  Di ko na inisip na susunduin pa ako ni Kuya Paolo.  Parang di nga siya nag-eexist sa buhay ko noong araw na yun.  Mga bandang alas-singko ay nag-commute na ako pauwi.

Martes, Abril 17, 2012

My Paolo Series... (Chapter 12... My Heartache and MyNew Friend



Fritz and Eugene... I think you can forgive Luke now.

Matt, Denzel, Hiya, ModernYouthSociety, Eugene, me, thanks for the comment on previous posts, at least you assured me na marami pa pala akong readers. =)

Philip, Andrian, Lalaa, Andre, Rio, Marvinvench, thanks for the wonderful messages sa chatbox ko.

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"Paano na yan? Ano nang plano mo sa inyo ni Kuya Paolo?" biglang naitanong ni Feljan habang nagpapahinga kami.

"Ewan ko.  Pero at least ngayon kung sakali mang makikipagbreak siya sa akin dahil meron na siyang iba e di na ako masyadong masasaktan dahil alam ko na kahit papaano." sabi ko.

"Kaya mo bang makipagbreak sa kanya?" si Rey.

My Paolo Series (Chapter 11... Threesome to Beat Loneliness)




Parang andaming angry comments nung last post ko ah.
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Nang mahimasmasan na ako sa kakaiyak, bumangon ako.  Pumunta ako sa kuwarto nina Rey at Feljan.  Kinuwento ko sa kanila ang mga nangyari kanina.

Kaagad naman akong niyakap ni Feljan. Inaalo ako.

Nakatingin lang si Rey sa akin.

"Pwede ba tayong mag-sex ngayon?" agad kong tanong.

Lunes, Abril 16, 2012

My Paolo Series (Chapter 10... Hurt... Hurting)


Antahimik na ng mga followers ko ah... Hindi na nagcocomment.
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Sumakay ako sa kotse ni Sir Bryan.  Pero di naman pala kailangan dahil sa may Amigo Plaza lang din pala ang bilihan.  Wala pang isang block.  Tinuruan niya ako ng mga brand na magandang gamitin.  Halimbawa sa Pastel, pili daw ako sa Sakura at Pentel. Hindi daw siya magbibigay ng idea kung alin sa dalawa dahil depende daw yun sa gumagamit pero ganun daw ang dalawang brand na pwede kong gamitin.

Sa Water color naman, Van Gogh at Prang daw ang magandang gamitin pero may kamahalan.  Oo nga, mahal.  Dahil ang Van Gogh na water color ay halos dalawanlibong piso.

"Mas maganda try mo yung both.  Ikaw ang magdecide kung alin ang akma sa style mo." suggestion nito.

Linggo, Abril 15, 2012

My Paolo Series (Chapter 9... When Things Go Cold)



Antahimik na ng mga followers ko ah... Hindi na nagcocomment.
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Sa loob ng dalawang oras lang na yun ay nakalimang putok si Kuya Paolo.  Halos namaga ang puwet ko sa ginawa niya.  Kung saan saan niya ako binuhat at ipinatong.

Habang nasa kotse kami ay wala kaming usapan pero puno na puno ng ngiti ang mga labi namin.

"I love you." sabi nito.

"I love you din." sabi ko sabay hilig sa balikat niya.

Pagdating namin sa bahay ay tuwang-tuwa si Mama Tony sa balita ni Kuya Paolo.

Biyernes, Abril 13, 2012

My Paolo Series (Chapter 8... Paolo as a Boyfriend)



Hartim welcome to my blog.  Keep on following.

John good luck sa paghahanap ng trabaho.

Guys... if you are fresh-graduates looking for a job or working for the first time, please view my posts on recruitment, application, interviews and resumes to help you. Good luck!

Antahimik na ng mga followers ko ah... Hindi na nagcocomment.
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January 3 ay nailabas na ako ng ospital.  Actually January 2 pa lang ay nakalabas na ako kaso ayaw ni Mama Tony na mabilisan.  Baka daw mabinat ako.  Since marami naman siyang perang pambayad sa ospital, bahala siya.  Siyempre si Kuya Paolo lang ang palaging nagbabantay sa akin kasama si Rey.

Unang Lunes ng taon ay balik eskwela na ako.  Si Kuya Paolo ang nag-volunteer na maghatid sa akin para daw alam niya kung saan ako nag-aaral.  Gusto rin daw niya siya na maghahatid-sundo sa akin.  Okay naman kay Mama Tony iyon para at least naman maiiwan si Kuya Bon kapag kakailanganin niya ng driver.  Kaso nga lang daw, baka mainip si Kuya Paolo.

Miyerkules, Abril 11, 2012

True Gay Stories... Jed... Part 2



Second Part of Jed's Story
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"John." sabi nito sabay taas ng kamay para makipagkamay.

"Jed." sabi ko sabay kuha ng kamay niya.

Nagtagpo ang kamay namin.  Hinawakan niya ito ng matagal.  Itinaas niya ito palapit sa mukha niya.  Hinalikan niya ang kamay ko.

Nanginig ang buong katawan ko sa paghalik nito.

Martes, Abril 10, 2012

Thoughts (April 10, 2012) Dark Angel Thoughts: Truth or Lies

Dark Angel Thoughts... Truth or Lies???


I admit that questions regarding the truthfulness of my stories really hurt me.  But I cannot just be quiet with all the accusations that my blog is facing.


I have listed all the questions that I usually face here and I will answer.


1) Is my name really Angelo? - Yes, my name is Angelo, not a nickname but my real name.  However, I cannot say my full name, last name, middle name or if my first name is just Angelo or if I have another name.


2) Why can't I say who I am? - First of all, I do believe that as a private person, everything I do and I am is totally private.  Celebrities like singers, actors/actresses, or even politicians, even if they are public figures, still have their right to privacy.  How much more I, who is never a celebrity.  Also, disclosing what my real name is will also reveal everything about me entirely, my friends, my family, my previous and current boyfriends, my work, my school, everyone and everything in relation to me.  My purpose of writing my story in this blog is to share my experience and never to include anyone else in my life and drag them along.  Everything that happened to me is nothing that I can always be proud of.  My life was full of flaws and dragging people related to me along this will not make me happy.  If in any case that my private life and the people in it will be disturbed because of this blog, I will not hesitate to stop writing or posting here and I know that we don't want that.


3) Are the names in my story true? - Again, if you will base on my previous answer, you would have an idea that I will not put ALL real names here because, that would really be another clue.  All I can say is that 50% of the names here are their real names, and 50% are only similar names.  For example, if I put a person's name as Ray, he can either be really Rey, or may have similar name such as Ray, Raymond, Raymart, et.al. but I never change the name entirely.


4) Are the things in here true? - Sometimes, I don't specify the place. But if I do, it's true.  Some of the places however, I cannot specify like the name of the school, the seminary, etc. because that would really give a lot of clues.  But with regards to the dialogues, words, etc. I can say that they were really spoken but in Hiligaynon (dialect of Iloilo) and as we all know we don't have exact translation of all our words.  Also, these things happened more than a decade ago, which means there is a chance that the exact dialogue is not entirely correct.  But, I always try to dig deeper into my thoughts of what really happened and was said so I can relay them to you correctly.  But I don't remember the exact dialogues 100%, my brain is not perfect but I can assure you that I have a very good memory.  I can even recall some of the color of the clothes I wear on some occasions I stated in my story. 


5) If all of these are true, does that mean there are already a lot of gays at that time? - This question really made me laugh.  One because growing up in Iloilo, the culture there is not as liberated compared here in Manila.  Being a gay there would really raise someone's eyebrow and people that time, would not accept you as readily compared now.  Also, most of the people mentioned in this blog are in their puberty age where we all experience identity crisis and great urge for sex since this is also the times we experience urges. Some of the characters I mentioned here in my blog are as I have checked have totally went out of the closet, some of them became very effeminate in short "Nagladlad", others still stay in the closet and only show their true color to their friends and sexmates, some became sure of the sexuality as real straight men and have already married, and some, became "Paminta".  Who are these people? I won'y disclose, maybe in the future posts.


6) So does this also mean, there are a lot of pedophiles that time? -  Since I was a minor then, some of the guys I had sex are in legal age, so they may be pedophiles.  But if they are only pedophiles? I doubt it, as I know, sex and love doesn't consider age.  Even I now that I am more than 20 years old, also have a crush on some high school boys.  Attraction is not considerate of age, it depends on our admiration for beauty, physical, mental or emotional.  I doubt that neither of you didn't have a crush who's young/younger.


7) Why can't I show my face? - Simple, right to privacy.  But also, I know that everyone has their own perception of beauty, so I may look okay for some, but not for the others.  So in order for my blog to have an open mind, I decided not to show my face.  At least, you can let your imagination wander on what Angelo looks like.  If you want to imagine me as cute/handsome/ugly/fat/thin/macho/etc. it's up to you.


8) Why can't I meet anyone? - Simple, when I started my blog, I asked my boyfriend's permission because I know that this kind of things, I don't decide on my own. One thing he asked me is that I should never meet anyone.  Which is why I don't give my Facebook name.  I may be loyal to my boyfriend but of course, in this gay world, if I can give my boyfriend assurance aside from being loyal to him, that would really help us.


9) Am I doing this blog to be popular? - (Laugh) (Laugh again) Popular? How can an unknown person who you all know by a name of Angelo be wanting to be popular?  If I want to be popular, I would put my picture and real face here. That would make me popular.  I am only writing to share my story with you. If you don't like my story, I won't force you to read. But if you do, then I thank you deeply because at least I will be able to extend to you my experience and thoughts regarding life as a member of the third sex.


10) Should you read Dark Angel Thoughts as a fiction or true story? - For me, I would appreciate it if you would read it as a true story because it is.  It will be easier for you to relate into my story because I pour all my feelings when I write my posts.  However, I can't really force people to change their opinion because that't not what I am.  If you can't accept it as a true story then it's up to you to read it as a fiction.  There would be no change in the story but there would be a change in how you would perceive things written there.


11) What can I say to those who keep on arguing and doubting that this is not true? - Well, I know and have researched in college that as member of gay sex, we always feel superior towards others, we feel that we are better in all aspects, we dance better, we draw better, we design better, we sing better, we act better than any gender, however, optimizing this feeling makes us feel that we are and should also be better than the other members of the third sex.  In short, we feel we are better than anyone.  Being always insulted and laughed at and not accepted in the society made us gays/bi's (whatever label you want to put on yourself), feel less in the society so we force ourselves to be better than anyone.  We tend to prove to everyone that we cannot be insulted or looked down on by always feeling better to almost perfect.  This is the reason why most gays are "mataray" so that people cannot easily berate us.  This is also the reason why we tend to think always high of ourselves.  


Just like in my story.  Some gays would say that this didn't happen because there are very much of sex happening in a young age.  True, there are too much sex happening but can I change my story just so to be parallel to how your sexlife was when we were in the same age? No. I can't and I won't.  But to tell you, there are other people who have more and better sex life than me in a much younger age.  It doesn't mean that if it didn't happen to you, it never happened to me or anyone else.  


Also, some readers say that how can two people so young fall in love? Luck, maybe. I just had a good luck... that time. Why I say that time? You think that I feel good having that kind of experience at an early age? Hell, no! At the age of 20 or 30, when we have our heartbreak, we still feel too much pain, even after years of falling in love. We even feel so bad even if we only had a relationship with a person for a month.  How much more, a relationship for more than a year, at an early age? Don't you think that that feel too much worse? So is it good luck? I really disagree. Being exposed to that kind of despair at an early age is not really good/ Honestly, it took me 10 years before I can totally accept it.


12) Would it be easier to prove if I just show my face and tell my real name? - No.  I won't do it to please anyone. If readers cannot accept this story as it is, then it's up to you.  You can stop reading if you want.  I don't need followers who at the end of every story would just smirk and frown and say "Asus, di naman totoo ito eh." because I didn't write this to prove to anyone that I am better, that I have a more active sexlife, that I have loved and hurt more than anyone.  No. I didn't.  I won't care if I have 2 or 3 readers, if those readers are whole-heartedly reading my story.  I don't need a thousand followers if those followers are just here to berate me, my story and my blog each day.  It's not my loss anyway.  It might be not your loss either but at least I was able to write my story while you won't be able to read it. Yeah, it's your loss.


Again, fiction or truth, I don't have to prove it.  It's up to you.  Just read my story.  By how fast/slow this story goes, since in the story, I am just in 1st year high school, hmmm... I still have around 15 years of story to share with you.  Just be patient... I am not dead yet so my story still goes on.


Thank you all.


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Special mention to Arden, take care always.


L.J. who's reading my posts while on his graveyard job. Kieth na makulit and Kevin na mabait... I miss your text.


John_pogs... text me asap.

Linggo, Abril 8, 2012

My Paolo Series (Chapter 7... Paolo's Fireworks)

Second posting for the day. Bumabawi lang sa tagal na panahon na di ako nakapagpost.
Happy Easter everyone
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Nagising ako na nakahiga ako at sa maliwanag ang paligid ko. Narinig ko kaagad ang boses ni Mama Tony. Galit na galit. Hindi ko alam kung sino pinapagalitan nito. Hindi ko kasi mailingon ang ulo ko. Masakit ang leeg ko.

Sabado, Abril 7, 2012

My Paolo Series (Chapter 6... Feljan... Why?)

Kuya Paolo's look-alike.
Guys sorry for the late posting. I don't have a laptop at home so I am only using my phone to post this story.

Unfortunately, blogspot changed their settings so I have been crazy for several days trying to figure out how to post here. I wanna kill blogspot for what they did and for making things difficult for me.

Hope I can post this before it expires
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Bisperas ng Bagong Taon... syempre abala ang lahat sa paghahanda. Kaming dalawa ni Kuya Paolo ang runner kapag may pinapabili si Mama Tony. Natutuwa ito dahil nakikita niyang masaya kami ni Kuya Paolo.

Pagkatapos ng pananghalian ay nagbasketbol uli sina Kuya Paolo, binulungan ako ni Feljan kung pwede ay wag akong sumama sa basketbol at may importante kaming pag-uusapan. Kailangan daw niya ang tulong ko.

Lunes, Abril 2, 2012

Shared Stories... Calvin... BathHouse Experience

(Model only... not related to post)


Hi Dark Angel...


Nabasa ko yung previous posts mo about kay Ram, I figured na baka pwede din akong magsend ng story sa iyo.
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Ako si Calvin, tubong Negros Occidental.  Sa edad na bente ay nakipagsapalaran na ako dito sa Manila at sa awa ng Diyos ay nakapagtrabaho naman agad ako dalawang araw pagkadating na pagkadating ko dito.


Sa unang araw ko dito ay nakatira ako sa Tita ko pero sa kalaunan ay nagbakasakali na akong maghanap ng matutuluyan.  Hindi naman sa ayaw ko tumira sa Tita ko pero siyempre pamilyado na siya at mahirap makibagay sa asawa't mga anak niya gayung ngayon lang kami nagkakilala.