Friday, May 30, 2014
Shared Stories ... Jacob (When Something Breaks, Something is also Formed)
Dear Angelo, I would like to share my story in your blog. I hope you can also edit it so that it will be of the same format as your writing.
I am a 20 year old, gay from Pasay City. I know that I am gay since I was in elementary but for the fear of my father, I have always kept it a secret so that I can live my life in a way that he won't be ashamed of me.
Even when I was in high school I have courted a lot of girls but I don't I just felt lazy in the end that I do not persevere with the courting. Hahaha. Or maybe that is not what I really wanted.
Time flew and I was already in college and I felt that I am so wasted, empty and isolated. I cannot be close with anyone for the fear of being too obvious and later be outed as gay. So in short I am such a closeted gay that I have to always make sure not to exert too much emotion that would give me away.
The thing that changed my life happened in the most unexpected way, place and time.
My barangay is one of those not rich where there are some areas that are squatters. We live in the lands that we paid but the houses further our street are the slums. Even if we are in just one street, the difference is obvious. Most of them are what we think are addicts or those people that rob jeepneys or people in Pasay.
The owner of the land they are squatting at have already gave them 5 years to settle their payment for the land so they can own it but they remained unmoved and firm even if we all know that they have only stayed there forcibly when there was no people who lived in those areas at that time.
One day, we heard people running and shouting. I thought there was fire. But my mother told me that the noise came from the people from the slums. Apparently, the owner of the land has already issue them an order to vacate their homes as the demolition in their area will happen 2 days from today.
A lot of people are in the streets that time having different conversation. Us who have been there for several decades and have felt the difference in the ambiance of our community when that slum started to grow like mushroom out of nowhere and the once peaceful and quiet street became a complete opposite of what it used to be. People don't go home late anymore because of fear. Quarrels and fights in their area often reaches to our streets. We are usually awaken by gunshots and noise due to raid of police for suspected shabu running or robbery or worst murder. We, are very much pleased that we can have our old peaceful neighborhood back.
"Make sure to put all your important things in a place that we can easily bring." my mother informed us during breakfast.
"Why ma?", I asked.
"There's a rumor that the people in the squatters will start a fire if they will be demolished." my father answered.
"There are even some who already saw a lot of people bringing in gallons of gasoline, we suspect they will put them in bottles and use as Molotov", mother added.
"I just looked at my older sister confused and scared.
"Good thing this happened during summer so we have all people we can have to help. So make sure to put all your things in one place and just bring the important ones." Mother reiterated.
"I will borrow your uncle's car tomorrow and bring all our stuff there. Your mama and sister will come with me. For the meantime I can trust you with keeping our house secure for the time being and watch for intruders. But if the onset of fire, I want you to use your bicycle and drive away from here. Your mama and I have talked about this. We know you are a responsible boy and can handle yourself well and never panics so this would work well for us." Father instructed me.
I just nodded. I know I can handle such simple thing.
Early the next day we have already packed our things and have put them in the car. My father reiterated his instruction yesterday. My mother full of confidence just kissed me in the forehead.
When they left, I looked at the other far end of our street. Several barricades have already been put by the people. Several of them have already been sitting there and preparing. My father was right, they have bottles with gasoline inside with cloth at the bottle mouth. That's what they call Molotov.
I then sat in front of our gate. Waiting for what things to happen.
Around 10AM several trucks of demolition guys have already arrived. Few minutes later mobile cars arrived and the policemen have alighted to maintain security in the area. Our house is far from the squatters area but all the cars and trucks were parked there as we are near the opening of the street.
The policemen are just standing by in the area and waiting for their orders.
"Are you alone?" one police asked me while I was sitting at the gate.
I looked at him. He was good-looking, average height but very cute eyes and lips with a nice nose. He was very manly in his police uniform.
"Yes, my parents already left and I was left alone to guard the house." I told him.
"Be sure to keep safe later, okay? If there will be any trouble be sure to take cover. Okay?" he advised.
I smiled and nodded.
"So do you think there will be trouble here?" he asked me.
"I think so. We heard they are willing to fight."
"Too bad. I really don't want to use force." he exclaimed.
"So you are not really used to shooting and hitting people?" curiously I asked.
"Honestly, as much as possible I don't want to. But there are a lot of times that I did because of my job." he explained.
"Sorry to hear that." I felt bad for him that he has to undergo this because of people who wants to push something even if they know they're not on the cor are not in the correct side.
"But it's okay. Things like this I have to endure so that I can protect innocent people like you." smiling he told me.
"There. Just smile okay? Things will always end good for the right guys right? Do you believe that?"
I nodded again.
"Where is the nearest store here where I can buy water?" he asked looking around.
"Wait, I'll get water for you." I immediately told him.
Before he can answer I already went inside the house and took a pitcher of water and glass and went outside. He was still sitting at the gate.
I gave him the glass and poured him water.
"Thanks, you're so nice. Your girlfriend should be really fond of you." he remarked.
I just smiled back and sat beside him.
I looked to the far end of the street, things are still the same. People standing at the back of the barricades. Everyone is quiet. Just letting the other side take the move first.
To be continued.
Medyo nakaka-nosebleed e. Putulin muna natin.
!!!Not for reposting!!! Please? This is a personal story. Not fiction so please do not re-post as your own. Thank you.
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